Dear Edgar Allen,
I hope it's okay for you, if I just call you Edgar Allen (I thought about Eddie or E.A. as well, but that was a bit too informal). I mean you are human, and not Mr.Poe (sorry, but it does sound like the hustband of the red teletubbie).
I always wanted to tell you that your style of writing poems is one of the most genuine in that special kinda business, you know? I hope you do know.
In the last few (very idle) days I read and re-read a lot of your poems in English as well as the German translation. Did you know that they translated your poems in a weird way? In a weird not very idiomatic way? No, I don't think you knew. But well, let me tell you more about that certain fact.
Take the poem you've written for Marie Louise (Shew), the person who has the same name like me. But why is her last name always put in brackets? You probably liked that - putting last names into brackets. Edgar Allen (Poe) - how about that?
I read that she was your neighbour. My neighbour's names are not imprisoned in brackets. But they never did anything normal neighbours do - like lending you some sugar or mowing the lawn when you are on holidays (but they do water our flowers from time to time, because our neighbours are nice indeed - just so you don't get any silly ideas).
Well, let's come back to the topic of poetry translations. Take the first three stanzas e.g. In German the "Macht der Sprache" appears in the second stanza, while you can find the English "the power of words" in the third stanza. I know! Unbelievable!
Anyways, here are my thoughts on your lovely (kinda) to-me-addressed poem:
To Marie Louise (Shrew) <-- Brackets...lovely
Not long ago, the writer of these lines, <-- you
In the mad pride of intellectuality,
Maintained "the power of words" - denied that ever
A thought arose within the human brain <-- Yours?
Beyond the utterance of the human tongue: <-- Your tongue?
And now, as if in mockery of that boast,
Two words - two foreign soft dissyllables -
Italian tones, made only to be murmured - <-- Hang on a minute! Which are the two words?
By angels dreaming in the moonlit "dew
That hangs like chains of pearl on Hermon hill,"
Have stirred from out the abysses of his heart,
Unthought-like thoughts that are the souls of thought,
Richer, far wilder, far diviner visions
Than even the seraph harper, Israfel, <-- Must've been a typo... don't ya mean Israel?
(Who has "the sweetest voice of all God's creatures,") <-- brackets <3
Could hope to utter. And I! my spells are broken.
<-- what?
The pen falls powerless from my shivering hand. <-- C'mon! Tell me! What happened?
With thy dear name as text, though hidden by thee,
I cannot write - I cannot speak or think - <--- Wwwwhy?
Alas, I cannot feel; for 'tis not feeling, <---Who's Alas? *types it into translator* sure, nevermind.
This standing motionless upon the golden
Threshold of the wide-open gate of dreams, <-- Nice formulation!
Gazing, entranced, adown the gorgeous vista, <--You have vista? Get Windows7, 's way better.
And thrilling as I see, upon the right,
Upon the left, and all the way along, <-- Everywhere?
Amid empurpled vapors, far away
To where the prospect terminates - _thee only_! <-- Really? I'm normally not on your vista, am I? Or are you stalking me?
~ italic words by Adgar Allen (Poe) himself~
In the end I gotta tell you that this is not the best piece you've written, but because you addressed it to me I think I could probably forgive you.
And actually it implies an 'emptiness' to which I'm not able to relate something to(especially to me - as it is written for me) somehow. You've written 27 stanzas and what did you say? Nothing... well, let's say not much. You might as well say now that a great writer has to be able to entertain people with nothing written down in 27 stanzas. And I agree, I can also write tons of pages descirbing not more than a room, but is that really the quintessence, the main issue, the meat and potatoes of writing something?
But that shall be enough for today. I promise, I'll stop passing my criticism on your great work from now on. Of course I do hope you'll accept it, as all great writers tend to accept criticism easily (if not, they cannot be called great writers).
I wonder what that other Marie thought about your poem - I think she loved it. Dunno why, but she sounds like someone who'd love such a poem. And we gotta talk about that stalking thing and me on your vista once more, eh?
I'm looking forward to hearing from you,
Love,
Marie (No, I'm not putting my last name into a bracket)
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And yeah, since noone's blogging or commenting or doing whatsoever, I now write blog-entries to dead people such as Eddie. : )